Love, Lust, and Scandals in Forks
by 4ever1
Summary: Things are heating up with Bella and Edward as they come closer to the date of the change . . .Chapter 7 is up Will Bella tell Edward why she is upset will she forgive him or will his temper get the better of him?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

_Please give me reviews- this is my first try at fan fic, and I would like to know if I should write the next chapters. Please read to the end_

**Chapter 1 – The Invitation(_s_)**

It was another sunny day in Forks. Three days in a row, and that was depressing me.

I sat in English class drawing in the margins of my notebook, listening to Jessica babble on about getting to second base with Mike's cousin Andrew who lived just a few towns south of Forks. I could tell she was looking for me to share a few details. I wonder, how far she thought Edward I got. _Hmm_, I would have to ask him what she thought the next time he is in school - which by the way was beginning to feel like it would never happen.

Suddenly, I was starting to feel paranoid about the subject. I mean, everyone probably thought we were _close_. It wasn't like we didn't have some PDA's. If she asked, maybe I should lie, not that I am a good liar, she would probably see right through me. If I told the truth, well then she would probably _think_ I was lying, because even thinking it to myself felt ridicules. I closed my eyes and thought of her face when I said _Edward and I have only gone to first base_.

Ugh, this was going to be tricky. Why did it have to be sunny out for three days?

"Um, Bella – have you been listening to anything I was saying?" Jessica's voice seemed strained. "Yes, second base with Andrew, got it." _I hope I didn't miss anything_. Her voice was annoying, "Well, are you going to double date with us tomorrow night or what?"

I was still thinking about the bases but a double date could be fun, it would almost be _normal, _and wasn't Edward always saying we should not miss out on the human things. Certainly a double date was human, although I already suspected a double date with Alice and Jasper would be _allot _more fun. Well a double date with _Emmett_ and Rosalie would probably be the most fun, if Emmett left Rosalie at home, I smiled inwardly at the thought.

"Sure Jess," I heard myself say, "Where do you want to go?"

She had obviously put much thought into this plan already,

"Ice skating in Port Angles, and then dessert, I would say dinner, ice skating and then dessert, but _Andrew_",

(the way she inflected on his name caused me to look up from my doodling, the look on her face confirmed what I had already suspected she was thinking, she clearly thought _Andrew_ could hold a candle to Edward, why does everything have to be a competition with her),

"and I are to have dinner with his parents. This will be the first time I am meeting his family, can you believe it, and we have only been dating for about a month?"

I suspected this wasn't really a question.

She continued, "What was it like the first time you meet Ed's parents?"

Over the last several months Jess had taken it upon herself to call Edward – Ed, which he clearly thought was annoying, and it was funny to see the expression on his face when I thought she was thinking "Ed" something or other in his head, although I was probably the only one who noticed.

"Well, Jess," I began "I had already meet his Dad, at the hospital, but I was still nervous the first time he took me to introduce me as his girlfriend. I was really afraid they wouldn't like me", _or bite me, or something _I thought. " I am sure you will do fine, how could they _not _like you?" She smiled when I said this and then the bell rang and class was over.

As we walked outside the classroom, I noticed the air felt different then it had this morning, it was wetter, and I sighed deeply and smiled. The sky was heavy with clouds, and I couldn't help search the parking lot, hoping "Ed",(I laughed out loud as I thought the word to myself), would surprise me by showing up for lunch.

The cafeteria was cold, and wet. It seems everyone felt it because most of the student body arrived to school with t-shirts, and without jackets hoping the sunny days would never end. Thankfully they did.

I quickly scanned the cafeteria and utter disappointed filled my stomach, which must have shown on my face because without warning, causing me to almost fall over from the sudden movement, I felt cold arms encircling my waist, "Are you upset because it's raining, or because you were hoping I wouldn't show up?" He whispered this playfully in my ear as we stood in the food line. I sure he could feel my cheeks heating from the blushing. "How is it something so cold makes me so warm?" I retorted, trying to be coy.

He laughed and picked up a tray. "What would you like for lunch, Bella?"

The way he said my name it made me think,-- "Well, I am pretty sure I know what you want to----"

I purposefully paused to build the suspense

"_drink_, but really, honey now is not the time, and if I am saying no, you can only imagine how inappropriate the timing is."

I tried a southern accent with this last part, so he would know I was kidding.

He chuckled lightly. I took the tray from him, filled it with a coke, fries and grilled cheese sandwich, and walked passed the register while he paid.

I should have used the time on the lunch line to fill him in on the plans I made with Jessica earlier, but I was having too much fun. We sat at the table with Jess, Mike, Angela, Eric, Dawn (a new girl) and her twin sister Carol. I was busy salting my ketchup and picking out the good fries, and Edward looked deep in thought starring aside, when his face turned toward me eyebrows raised, looking like he expected me to explain something about a question he hadn't asked me yet. I could only guess he was eavesdropping on Jessica.

We only had two weeks of classes left before graduation, and finals were behind us. Attendance was laxed around the school and most of the seniors took to cutting out early a couple of days a week. I was normally too chicken for this, but looking at Edward sitting across from me, I was starting to feel a little frisky, and the earlier discussion about the bases had me wondering if I could get Edward to go to second base (although in the back of my mind, I am not too sure what exactly second base was, I am sure, however, that it is something I wanted to do with Edward).

I leaned across the table, asking him with my eyes to lean in so I could whisper. He obliged. "I think I would like to ditch school the rest of day" His eyes looked into me, "And what would you like to do for the rest of the day?"

I am not sure where my sudden surge of forwardness came from, but without hesitating or blinking I responded "Lie in bed naked with you." I almost didn't get the whole sentence out, without laughing at myself, and it took every ounce of self control, _I _had to not so much as smirk when I said that, but somehow I was triumphant and it had the desired effect I needed.

He reached his hand across the table to take mine, we stood together and without so much as saying "goodbye" to our lunch buddies we were walking out of the cafeteria.

It was very hard not to start making out immediately when we got into my truck, and the quietness as we drove was driving me insane.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

please review and let me know if I should continue

**Chapter 2 – A stolen afternoon**

He turned off the engine in front of my house, and this time I was too quick. Before he opened his door I was kissing him. He was surprised, but I could tell he was appreciating my efforts.

I started on his neck, and traveled slowly up to his ear. His lips parted and he moaned softly. He hands traveled around my shoulders. Slowly, so as to caution him with what I was doing, I leaned into to him and then carefully I moved my body so I was straddling him and pushing myself against him.

Now, we were both breathing heavily, and as I arched my back and thrust my hips forward……………

BEEEEEEEEEEEP, the horn. _Oh, I was leaning on the horn._

Edward, chuckled lightly and swiftly, but gently moved me so I was no longer on-top of him.

"Well that killed the mood." I smiled.

"Thank god something did, otherwise I might have killed you" Edward said this breathlessly, but somehow it still sounded sweet.

We sat there, not touching catching our breath, starring into each other. "If I promise to behave can we lie in bed and daydream this afternoon away?" I asked him.

"Yes, but let's go to my house because there are always people around, and it would be more of a precaution to not let things get this out of hand again, _this afternoon_."

Was I imagining the emphasis of the _this afternoon part_ or was he really inviting me to get out of hand on another afternoon? I decided not to ask or push my luck.

He ran home with me clinging onto his back enjoying the speed. And we didn't really slow down too much when we entered the house, or stop and say "hello" to Esme or Emmett, he didn't slow down until we entered his room and he placed me quietly onto the bed.

Then he lay down beside me and took my hand. It wasn't enough for me, I rolled over and draped myself across him, so his arm was around me and my head nestled between his shoulder and chest. I shivered from the coldness involuntarily and he wedged a thin throw pillow between us.

"What would you like to day dream about today, Bella?" He always said my name in way that made me feel like I was a kid enjoying a rated R movie.

"Once I am, _changed_ I thought we should, I mean--- may want, to maybe live separately from your family for a little while, not too long, but long enough that we can stand next to each other without wanting to tear our clothes off."

"I've thought about that too", he turned over on his side while he spoke so we were looking at each other, our faces inches apart "the problem is while you are struggling with forming an aversion to your new natural food choice, you will probably want all the help and support from _our_ family, especially Jasper because he struggles so much with it, he will be able to empathize with you."

After he finished that last part he studied my expression, clearly reading the disappointment. "but I do think I can convince them all to take a holiday for a fortnight, so we can have the house to ourselves, and I can have my way with you, _all of you_." He winked at me then and lightly touched his lips to mine.

Then he looked at me like he just remembered something, "Why are we going on a double date with Jessica and Andrew?"

"It won't be so bad Edward, but ever since we set a date for the change, I want to do everything possible that is human, that we won't be able to do after."

"Bella, after the _cha-nge,_"

he overly emphasized the word, mocking my aversion to using the word Vampire "you will be a much better ice-skater, it seems like it is sort of a dangerous thing for you to be doing now, while human . . ."

Now I was almost laughing – "no, silly it is not the ice skating so much – believe me you better keep your arms around me at all times if I am putting sharp blades on my feet and then to be expected to slide elegantly on a sheet of ice" I inhaled sharply and whispered sheepishly "it's the _dessert"_.

Now he understood. "So you mean out of all the human things you will be missing, the one thing you are having trouble with is giving up chocolate, chocolate chip ice cream?"

"Yes" I sighed, perhaps a little too strong to be just talking about food.

"Isn't chocolate and sex supposed to be the most sinuous human pleasures, and since it is quite clear I will never fully understand the sex part, while human"

I looked up at him for confirmation that after the change I would fully understand this, and the expression on his face assured me I would.

"then I am going to eat as much chocolate between now and then as I can." Exasperated from that statement I laid down flat against the bed. Right before I drifted into a late afternoon nap I managed to ask;

"Edward, what is second base?" He chuckled and rested his hands in the right place to demonstrate the answer.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

please review and let me know if I should continue

**Chapter 3 – and I felt his teeth**

We were sprawled out on the floor in the living room in Charlie's house, waiting for Andrew and Jessica to arrive.

"Isabella," he whispered. _Oh_ this is going to be _very good,_ I thought to myself, he only uses my whole name when he is trying to be very romantic.

He adjusted our position on the floor so he could look at me while he was talking and he put my hands between his before he began again, in a voice that was so sweet, I knew I would give him whatever he was asking.

"Isabella", it was no louder then a breath, "before, I change you, I would very much like to see _all_ of you, as you _are_. You are incredibly beautiful, and I fantasize about what _you_ look like all the time, but I want the memory of _you_ and not the fantasy."

It was the most romantic thing I had ever heard, no, wait, that doesn't seem to be enough. It was the most romantic thing anyone has every said, throughout history. It wasn't so much the words, I mean it was the words but it was the sincerity behind the words that made it romantic.

My eyes did not move from his, as I walked to answer the phone in the kitchen. It was Jessica, she was hoping we could meet them in Port Angels and skip the ice-skating and meet at the ice cream place instead. _Oh darn it, no ice-skating for me_.

As I hung up the phone, he was in front of me, and so quickly that I missed the movement, he pulled my body against his, and kissed me hardly on the lips. It wasn't the normal soft "Edward" kisses as I thought of them, this was passion, passion which seemed to be a little out of control, for _him _at least.

I felt his hands on my shoulders, lightly drifting up my neck into my hair, all the while his lips never leaving mine. My body responded without thinking, I stood on my toes and lifted my leg around him, my hands grasping for his hair and my breath quickening with every second that ticked by.

In the back of my mind, I kept waiting for him to stop, but my body pressed even harder against his. His lips started traveling down my throat and I tilted my head back, we both moaned softly. _He should have stopped by now._

"Edwar..", I was gasping, not wanting to speak but knowing I had to. He didn't respond.

A little louder "Edward", but my lips were hungry, hungry to find his again. _This is insane, we are definitely crossing some line_.

"EDWARD!" it was still a little louder then a breath but the urgency was there, although he didn't catch exactly what I meant, "Bella" he breathed.

I knew I was going to have to stop this, _was that his teeth grazing against my throat now? _

_Yes, I am quite sure I feel his teeth._ This was getting out of hand, this was even _sick_, yet it felt strangely erotic at the same time.

I reluctantly untangled my leg from him, and did the only thing I could think of;

I reached onto the stove and grasped for the frying pan; my lips were still kissing him, I started to feel his teeth pinching at my throat, and then I hit him as hard as I could over the head with it.

He backed away so quickly, it left me faint. I held onto the chair and doubled over catching my breath.

I looked up to him, and saw the look on his face, it was awful, twisted with his inner torment.

"Edward," I began, "I just have one question"

"Hmm" he said as he looked up at me, one eyebrow raised,

"Were you thinking of my blood the _whole_ time, or were you thinking of my body a _little_?" Did I really want him to answer this question, probably not.

"Actually, you are not going to believe this Bella, but I wasn't thinking of your blood at all, not in _that_ way at least, I was just intent on how much I wanted your body"

I was blushing from the pleasure of what he said, "but your teeth, I know I felt your teeth"

He crossed the room back over to me and put his stone arms around me and hugged me tight, "I know, and I am so sorry, but I wasn't thinking _thirsty, _it was like an aphrodisiac to graze my teeth against your throat, I know it is sick, and dangerous but it was _unbelievable_. I am so sorry."

How are we always thinking the same things, "I was actually thinking that the whole time, _this is sick_ but I didn't want it to end"

We both took a step back and starred at each other, the moment was so very ironic, I couldn't help myself from laughing that I fell to the floor. He laughed aloud as well and held his hand out to help me up, "Let's get out of here."

When we arrived at the ice cream shop, Andrew and Jessica were already there, and they looked a little uncomfortable with each other. I guess the dinner did not go as well as she hoped. She introduced Edward and I to Andrew (who, by the way _was_ very good looking, I felt happy for Jessica).

Jessica was looking at me, oddly, "Umm, Bella, remember that magazine you wanted to pick up, well, let's let the boys get a table for dessert and you and I run to the shop around the corner to get the _magazine_."

What happened next was quick the whole thing happened in less then five seconds, but I saw everything very clearly, Edward's head snapped up, and he moved to put space between myself, Jessica, and Andrew. Edward, kept his eyes on Andrew, and I knew something was desperately wrong here. I was starring at him, not knowing what he wanted me to do. This was one time I wished he could read _my_ mind.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

please review and let me know if I should continue

special thanks to everyone who has reviewed already

**Chapter 4 – double dating**

And, it was almost like he did, "Bella, I think Jessica has a very good idea," he was talking quickly but still at a human enough speed "Andrew and I will save you seats." He said this with such authority; I knew Jessica and I had to leave quickly. I didn't answer. I took Jessica's hand and led her down the street.

As soon as we were around the corner, she broke down, "Bella, it was awful," she sobbed. She leaned into me and buried her head in my shoulder. "His, his, his, ---- uh, his parents" she was having trouble getting the words out and this was frightening me. I wasn't sure I wanted to know what happened to her. "His parents weren't home, Bella. It was a trick, it was a trick to get me to come over to his house."

I hugged her and let her cry. My stomach was in knots for her. Between sobs she told her story, "and when it was over, he didn't think he did anything wrong, he started picking up my clothes and said, 'hey, we are going to be late meeting your friends.'"

I wonder whose mind Edward read at the restaurant, probably Jessica's, judging by his reaction. I desperately wanted to go back and see Edward, I wanted to know what he was doing about Andrew, _and then again maybe I didn't want to know_.

I looked up from her and saw a familiar face walking toward us. He looked generally, worried about us, we must have been causing quite a scene standing on the street. And it was a relief to me to see he was able to put our argument aside, I could see in his eyes he wasn't angry with me at this moment, he was sincere in his concern. As he approached us, I noticed how tall he was, and muscular. He _was_ a very good looking guy, and confident. He walked with a confidence he never showed before, but I always knew was there.

"Bella," his voice was nervous and he was looking around, for someone.

"Hi Jacob"

His words came out rushed "Do you need help, is everything okay, do you two need a ride somewhere?"

Jessica let go of me and turned to look at Jacob "uh, we are okay, just some girl problems," she reached for my hand and squeezed it.

I desperately wanted to talk with Jacob alone, now that I knew he was still talking to me.

Jacob's and mine eyes locked on each other, as if we were both trying to convey a message that neither of us could hear. I wanted to touch him, to tell him I was sorry. I knew this might be the only opportunity I had to tell him, **_carpe diem_**.

"Jacob, I am so sorry, for everything, I am sorry I hurt your feelings, and I am sorry if I mislead you in any way. You have to know, if I did mislead you it wasn't on purpose, it was because I did truly believe in everything I had told you. Please, Jake, _please,_ think about it, if I thought for one minute, one second he was coming back, I _never_, would have told you some of the things I did. Please Jake, please forgive me."

The words came out rushed, I hope he caught the sincerity; I knew this could be the last time I had to tell him, to tell him how I really felt.

Jessica was looking confused, but I could tell she wasn't really paying attention to us, she was starring out into the street. I didn't follow her gaze, my eyes remained intent on Jacob, waiting for him to say something, anything.

"I know Bella," he whispered. "I know, you didn't think he was coming back. I have had some time to reflect on this and I think . . ."

He stopped mid- sentence and followed Jessica's gaze across the street. This time I turned my head to the scene which was calling our attention – it was Andrew talking to the new girl at school, Dawn.

"What the hell is he doing here?", Jacob mumbled this under his breath and crossed the street toward them, at the same time Edward came beside me. T

"Edward, what took you so long?"

He bent his head down to my ear and whispered "I wanted to give you and Jacob the opportunity to talk things out, I was just around the corner, I think we should take Jessica home"

Jessica's head popped up at the sound of her name, "No, I want to hear what is going on there with your friend Jacob, Dawn and Andrew." Before I could protest she was walking across the street. Edward and I followed her but hung back so as to not stand too close to Jacob. We had obviously missed the beginning of the conversation but it didn't take much to understand what was going on, Jacob's temper was heating up and he was standing protectively of Dawn. She was trying to say something but Jacob kept her firmly in back of him, and away from Andrew.

The rest of the scene unfolded and resolved itself without much incident, but the whole time I was focused on Jacob. It was quite obvious from the way he was defending Dawn, that he cared very much for her, and what was more apparent was the way she looked at him. It must be the way people see me when I look at Edward, she was definitely looking at him with respect, mixed in the admiration and _a lot_ of love. It was the way I wished I could look at Jacob and feel about Jacob when Edward was away. I was overwhelmed with happiness for him and Dawn at that moment.

I was barely able to catch all the details of the incident, but apparently Andrew had a reputation which was far and wide, which was making sense now, why Mike tried to warn Jessica about him and why Dawn didn't share who she was dating or whom _she dated_ at lunch.

I focused my attention back on Jessica, she looked exhausted, I wanted to continue my conversation with Jacob, but Edward and I had to get Jessica home. We all said quick goodbyes and I sat in the backseat with Jessica as we drove home.

When we arrived at her house and she asked me to stay. I agreed and told Edward to come pick me up in a few hours. Her parents weren't home and when we settled in her room is when she started talking,

"Bella, that wasn't my first time" she wasn't looking at me, instead she was starring at the wall,

"Mike and I did it once when we were dating, I guess I should be happy about that much. Although all the while, I couldn't help but wonder if Mike had told him what we did and that is why Andrew thought he had the right to do that to me?"

"Jessica, this isn't your fault, he is a vile person Jessica. I am sorry, Jess to have to ask you this, but if you want to press charges you should go to the hospital for an exam before you shower" I was so embarrassed to have to have this conversation with her, but I knew I wouldn't be much of a friend if I didn't, I was quickly going through episodes of Law and Order SVU, to decide what else I should ask of her "did he use, protection?"

She was sobbing into her pillow, "no I don't want to tell anyone, and yes he did – This is so mortifying".

"Bella, what was it like your first time with Edward?"

My heart started racing, the heat burning into my flesh, after all she had been through tonight I couldn't tell her I was still a virgin, she would think I was being smug and just trying to hurt her feelings. Okay, I was going to have to make something up.

"It was different, then I thought it would be. I had always thought it would be something we planned, but it just happened." Even, I started to believe my words.

"Did you like it?" she pressed on.

"um" I thought about different books I read and decided to draw a little from Flowers in the Attic and Dark Angel, try to combine the Christopher and Troy experiences together. It just seemed _too personal _to tell her how I dreamt it would be with Edward.

What I said was:

"It was just something that happened, I don't think either of us were planning it"

_What I was thinking was:_

_We would be standing across from each other in the Meadow, starring at each other, both knowing what we wanted and knowing it was dangerous and impossible._

"It was a making-out session that got a little bit out of control." She nodded for me to go on.

_We both knew that if our lips were to touch again we would not be able to control the passion which would be unleashed._

"Jessica, I am sorry, but you see Edward every day, and I don't think it would be fair for me to share to many details." I could see she was disappointed in my lack of comradely, so I added,

"It hurt a lot at first, and it was awkward when it was over, but after the initial embarrassment things got back to normal."

_And I would walk over to him and make the first move. I put my lips to his and said "please, give yourself to me", and he would. He would kiss me like tomorrow would never come. His hands would travel around my body, and his hands would tug at my clothes, wanting to pull them off, but knowing he couldn't let things get that far. But, my hands would take off his shirt, and my lips would move over his body. I would hear him letting go, giving up his body to me. His fingers would play with the bottom of my t-shirt while he kissed by ear and my throat. And the sensation which would travel through my body whenever his cold fingers would accidentally touch my flesh, was fire. _

"Yeah" she said "Mike and I felt awkward too when it was over, I am glad you said that and it wasn't just me"

My cell phone started vibrating, and I glanced at the phone, I opened it to see the text message – from Edward of course "I am outside, waiting, don't hurry on my account – stay as long as she needs you."

Jessica must of read the expression on my face "You have to go don't you?"

Well, technically I didn't have to go, but I really wanted to go, so much had happened this evening and I desperately needed to be in Edward's arms discussing it and discussing how I felt about it.

"I don't have to leave if you need me Jess, Edward can wait"

"No, it would be better if you left before my parents come home. And Bella," she hesitated for a moment as if to put her thoughts together "thank you for being such a good friend to me tonight"

"don't even think about it Jessica, call me if you need anything." I tried not to run too fast out of her house, I didn't want to be rude, but I needed to discuss the whole evening with Edward, does this mean Jacob is talking to me, what did he say to Andrew after we left?

I opened the car door, expecting to see him smile at him, but I was taken back, he was sad. "Edward, what's wrong?"

"Something you said to Jessica, I am really troubled by?"

"Edward, how long were you listening?"

"Long enough" – but let's not discuss it here." We drove the rest of the way to his house in silence. And when we got there he shut off the car but didn't move.

"Why do you think it would be _awkward_ the first time we make love?"


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

special thanks to everyone who has reviewed already and has supported this story – you are all wonderful – thank you for sharing B&E with me

Finally, I want to apologize for this chapter, it took me awhile to update because I am not sure I am writing Edward's "voice" the way it sounds in my head . . .please review and let me know if I should switch back to Bella's POV. Thank you again for reading this.

Special thanks to Stephenie Meyer for giving us B&E and the rest of Twilight and New Moon and Eclipse and Breaking Dawn and Midnight Sun – my life is forever changed because of you

6 MONTHS6 MONTHS – BUT WHO'S COUNTING ANYWAY????

**Chapter 5 – honesty**

Edwards POV

Why would she think being intimate with me would be awkward? That made me feel uncomfortable, and I was not used to feeling that way. I should just ask her, "Why do you think it would be _awkward_ the first time we make love?"

She looked at me and sighed, slightly relieved, I suppose the expression on my face gave away how troubled I was by this statement. "Edward, I don't think it would be awkward, I said that because it was something I sensed Jessica needed to hear, I think if I told her the truth it would have hurt her feelings. I think it will be wonderful, when it happens."

She was looking into me when she spoke this but as soon as she finished she turned her head to look out her window, she often did this when she wanted to hide her facial expressions from me. Sometimes it meant she wanted to be alone in her own thoughts and other times it meant she wanted me to ask her what was wrong, and then other times she just wanted me to hold her while she was alone in her thoughts. I didn't know which time this was.

It was still hard for me not knowing what she was thinking, to have to guess at what she wanted was challenging, and something I was not used to.

I reached for her hand and she took it, which made me think she wanted me to prompt her to speak, "Bella, what do you think about running into Jacob this evening?" She turned her head towards me, okay I think I asked the right question, _G-d, I love this woman_.

"At first I was shocked, because when he saw us, to me it was as if he was genuinely concerned, and he put the past behind him. But I had to tell him, I was sorry and what I was thinking . . ."

She paused and left the last word to dangle in air, creating a thick tense silence between us. She was still making eye contact with me, like she wanted to confess something, something she hadn't told me about her and Jacob during my absence. Sometimes, while she was sleeping and I was left alone in my thoughts uninterrupted I thought about what may have happened between her and Jacob while I was gone.

The truth was, I was afraid of her answer. I was afraid she would tell me she kissed him, or worse, that she had done things with him, things she and I hadn't done yet in the physical sense, or she had been with him in way, that I couldn't be with her while she was human.

Yes, I was very afraid of her answers, so I choose not to ask the questions. She and Jacob spent so much time together alone, that I couldn't pick up on a thought from someone who was around during that time which would give me any hints, and the one time I did see Jacob after my return, he was so angry he wasn't thinking of the past at all, and tonight was the first time I had seen him since then and his thoughts were about Dawn, not Bella.

She never told me about anything that happened while I was gone. She didn't even tell Alice anymore then she did that first night Alice came back.

If I searched myself for what I felt when I thought about her and Jacob together, I knew I was angry, angry with myself (never at Bella, she had every right to be with another man, I told her I didn't love her or want her) for leaving, and jealous, very jealous. I wanted to know and understand her life during that period, but I was selfish, I didn't want to face the mess I created.

"Edward," – her voice chassed my thoughts away and I realized we were still having a conversation in the car.

"Hmm?" was all I could say, and I wanted patiently while she searched for the words, somehow I knew she was going to tell me right now what happened between her and Jacob.

I braced myself for the truth. I wanted to know, and I didn't want to know at the same time. Not knowing was driving my imagination wild, but knowing could kill me.

"Edward, I need to tell you about what happened between me and Jacob while you were gone and how I felt about him then and how I feel about him now. At first, I didn't want to tell you because I was embarrassed, but now I feel you not knowing has put a wall between us, and we shouldn't have any walls. You are the one person I can be myself around, the one person I trust, the one person I can share everything with, and I need to share this with you, honestly."

Her voice was shaking by the time she finished speaking, but I realized her hand was still holding mine, and that was comforting. I knew I was kidding myself into believing I was good enough for her.

I mentally braced myself for the blow that was about to come, willing myself to control my emotions no matter what she said.

She reached and pulled a hair band off her wrist and put her hair back in a ponytail. Her neck looked so delicious. I felt the venom pooling in my mouth. I wanted to kiss her more then anything right now, but I held myself back, focusing on the words she spoke,

"Edward, that day in the woods, when you told me you didn't want me, that you didn't love me, and you didn't need me, I died. Everything I was and everything I was on the path to becoming died. I was no longer myself when you said those words to me. I wanted to die. I wished I was dead. Although, I am not the type to slit my wrists or put a gun to my head, I didn't care whether I lived or I died. I felt nothing. I was empty. I couldn't do anything that reminded me of you. If I thought of you for a second, I thought I would loose my mind."

She took a deep breath, her eyes were still on mine and I knew the worst was yet to come. How could I love her, if I hurt her so badly, how can someone purposefully hurt someone they love, and how could she still love me after what I did to her?

He voice was stronger, "Then I started hanging out with Jacob, and I was slowly waking up. I wasn't waking up as myself, I was waking up as a different Bella, a Bella without Edward, a Bella who would never love or be loved again. I was waking up as an empty shell Bella, but when I was with Jacob I was able to feel things again. There would be moments I would be smiling and happy."

Her eyes dropped and she started fidgeting with the hair band on her other wrist, I knew the worst part was coming, I crossed my hands round my chest so she wouldn't see how nervous I was about what she was about to say. I braced myself ready for her to tell how she liked kissing him. I tried to keep my facial expressions blank, and not give away the agony and pain I was feeling at this moment.

She looked up, resigned, committing herself inwardly to tell the story.

"I knew he had feelings for me. I knew he wanted more from me. Edward, I am so sorry to tell you this, I wish it wasn't true, but it was true and you have to know,"

She looked at me pleading me with her eyes to stop her, but I couldn't, she had come this far in the story and I wanted, no I needed her to finish it.

"I _wanted_ to love him, Edward." Her voice was a whisper.

"Every night for about two months, I searched myself for those feelings. I wanted to love him. I wanted to reciprocate those feelings he had for me. I wanted to love him. I would lay in bed at night sometimes allowing myself to remember how good it felt to be in love with you and thinking you loved me, and I thought if only I could share that with Jacob. If only I could love Jacob and become a whole person again. I would prey, most nights, I could wake up and find myself in love with him."

She inhaled deeply and shifted herself so she could look into my eyes, "but it never happened. Each day I would wake up and my heart was still missing. Each day, I couldn't read books, or listen to music, and it never got easier. Each day I would wake up and wish I was dead. On the bad days, I would lie in bed the morning thinking of how I could accidentally kill myself."

Did she just say she was thinking of how to kill herself? How could I have made the woman I love, the woman I worship, wish she could kill herself? Why did I not know, not realize how she felt about me? I will spend the rest of my existence making this right. I will prove to her that she can rely on me, and trust me.

"On the good days, I would see Jacob, but my feelings didn't change. Then one night as I was waiting for sleep to overcome me, I thought that maybe if I kissed Jacob that would awaken those feelings. I knew I loved you before you even touched me, but maybe that was only for true love."

She inhaled deeply and looked out the window, breaking eye contact and hiding her face from me. Her actions were making me nervous.

"Maybe if I was physical with Jacob, that would awaken some other kind of love, one built on kinship and desire."

_Oh no here it comes, I must maintain my composure when she says it_.

"For the next week I thought about kissing Jake, not making up my mind but running a few scenarios in my head. Then the moment seemed to come, he was leaning in to kiss me and I was thinking I wasn't sure if I wanted him to kiss me, and as his head moved closer to mine, I realized I didn't want to kiss him, that he was like a brother to me and nothing more would ever come from that, and at that moment right before our lips were to meet, the phone rang . . .and"

"And, Bella, you can't stop there what happened, I can handle it", _I hoped I could_.

"Edward, it was you calling when you thought I was dead. It was you calling that stopped Jacob from kissing me, it was fate intervening and saving me from making such a mistake."

"I am so sorry Edward that I thought to try and love Jacob and that I thought about kissing him. I am sorry that although my actions were faithful to you and your memory at that time, my head was not. I betrayed you. Could you forgive me, I swear I will never doubt your love again?"

I felt such pleasure in her words. They were almost impossible, she _was faithful_ to me, even though I betrayed her trust and betrayed her love and left her in pain, she _was_ faithful to me. I don't deserve her. I cannot be worthy of someone so selfless.

I couldn't verbally respond to her question at that moment. I quickly exited the car and went to her side and took her out of the car and into my arms.

I answered her question by pulling her close to me, her body instantly warming mine, and placing my lips carefully but firmly against hers. I heard her heart race and I kissed her chin and then the corner of her mouth and then her ear and in-between kisses I murmured, "there is nothing to forgive, we are here together now, and I want you for eternity, and I will be changing you as we agreed."

She responded by pressing her body against me, moving her body so my leg was between hers. Her hands slipped under my shirt and the warmth on my bare skin was amazing, her touch was amazing, her scent was amazing, her essence was amazing and at that moment I wished more then anything I could pleasure her, that I could be strong enough to finish what we were starting. Our kisses became feverish, and her body was pressing hard against me and my hands were playing at the bottom of her shirt, wanting to touch her flesh. I wanted to feel us skin to skin, her body against mine. She fit me perfectly, like she was made for me, like she was created for me. And I kissed her back like it was my purpose my creation.

Her mouth was incredibly warm and her lips were so very soft. I nuzzled my lips to her neck and gently traced the line towards her shoulder. With my hands I tugged the top of her shirt aside so my lips could touch the bare skin of her shoulder, and I slowly worked my way back to her neck. I was consumed by wanting to please her, not by my own desires. I wanted to give her what she wanted. My lips traveled up her neck to her ear, all the while her lips were moving across my chest and her hands were on my back pulling me towards her.

Then I felt her hands playing with the waist of my pants, and my head quickly snapped into reality. If I didn't stop this now, I was never going to.

With vampireish swift movement I placed her hands to her sides and stepped back from our embrace, but not letting go of her hands.

She looked up at me her eyes were wide and begging, and I wanted to give in to them more then anything. For a hundred years I have controlled my emotions because I never found someone to share them with, and now that I have Bella, more then anything I want to give myself to her, to be free of our carefulness, to be uninhibited and allowing our emotions and desires control me.

But, alas that time would come later.

She broke the silence first "I'll let you off easy tonight" she looked up and winked at me.

"What is the price?" I was starring at her playing along, but my fingers were still playing with the bottom of her shirt. I really wanted to take it off her.

"Edward, I am not going to be able to control myself if you keep touching me like that"

"Do you want me to stop?" I knew her answer already, and my hands slid down to her waist as she was standing before me, and I slide down to my knees and lifted her shirt slightly to kiss her stomach.

"Edwar . . " she sighed.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

**_fan fic hug to all the people who have reviewed this story – you rock!!!!_**

Special thanks to Stephenie Meyer for giving us B&E and the rest of Twilight and New Moon and Eclipse and Breaking Dawn and Midnight Sun – my life is forever changed because of you

AUGUST 7th ECLIPSE RELEASE DATE!!!! – BUT WHO'S COUNTING ANYWAY????

**Chapter 6 – why won't she marry me**

Edwards POV

I stood up smiling at myself (selfishly) for making her feel that way and I scooped her into my arms and carried her into my house. It was nights like these it was helpful to have a sister, as Charlie thought Bella and Alice were having a girl only slumber party.

He had suspicions otherwise, but he never voiced them. Carlise assured Charlie in a fatherly way, Bella's chastity was safe under his roof under the watchful eyes of himself and Esme – how ironic that it was Bella's _life_ Charlie should be worried about, her chastity was the safest thing here.

As I walked into the house I thought about the first time I picked her up like this. It was when she fainted at the site of blood in biology class, and how careful I was not to pull her too close to my body, and now I couldn't pull her close enough.

When we walked into the house Jasper was thinking to me: _Alice had a vision which you need to discuss with her, but _after_ Bella is asleep. _I realized the vision could not have been that bad if Jasper and Alice hadn't involved the rest of the family. This put my mind at ease for a few moments.

Once we entered our bedroom (ever since returning from Italy I had begun to think of this room as _ours_. I had purchased a bed so she would be comfortable spending the night here and through various shopping trips with Alice, Bella had added her own personal touch to the room) I sat her down on the bed. I was surprised by how willing I was to want to share this room with her. Normally, I am a selfish person, but with Bella alone it was easy to be giving.

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Bella's POV

When he carried me into our room (this was starting to feel like ours. I remember the first time he brought me here, the room was most definitely imprinted with "Edward" it was sparse and filled with things he loved. Now, since returning from Italy my impression was slowly working its way into the room, from the comforter, to books I enjoyed reading, and prints of art I loved, this room was becoming _ours) _I realized how tired I was from the emotionally exhausting evening (and the two makeout sessions which left me breathless).

I chuckled to myself thinking about the earlier one. "Hmm?" he asked.

"I was just remembering it was only a few hours ago that you were kissing me and I whacked you over the head with a frying pan. It seems that so much has happened tonight that was days ago."

We were both laughing, and, in his house, in our room, his laugh was unrestrained and loud. It gave me great pleasure to know that I could do that to him. I was laughing so hard my side began to hurt.

Then I felt overcome with sleep. I stood up and picked some flannel pajamas out of the dresser and walked into the bathroom to prepare for bed. I took a long hot shower (the water pressure here was much better then in Charlie's house) and brushed my teeth. When I emerged from the bathroom (which was definitively becoming _my_ bathroom) Edward was already sitting on the bed waiting for me.

"Do you want to read or watch TV before sleep?" he asked.

"How about you read to me?" I climbed into the bed and under the covers. My head resting on his chest, his arms embracing me. We looked at each other for the longest moment. I know what he was seeing on my face, my ache to be with him. I knew this was always written on my face at night while we lay in bed together. I wanted him. Sometimes I wanted him passionately and other times like tonight, I wanted him tenderly.

I was always confused by the look on his face in these moments. I wasn't sure if I was seeing his ache to be with me, or his sorrowfulness for not being able to give me what I wanted. I was not sure which one I wanted it to be, so I never asked.

Although things with Edward were perfect right now and he agreed to change me in six months (after I went to college for a semester and had that experience) I still found that I was harboring some leftover resentment towards him for leaving me. It was irrational after everything we had been through, but I knew these feelings would eat away at me until I expressed them to him. I think he sensed this too, because he never asked about how I felt or what I felt about him leaving directly. It was guilt, I think. Maybe tomorrow we can talk about them, I was getting up the nerve each day – but today was not the time, we had been through enough today.

He interrupted by train of thought by asking "What would you like me to read?"

"Let's continue with _The Fountainhead." _

He reached over to the nightstand and picked up the book and began softly "A frozen explosion of granite burst in flight to the sky over motionless water. The water seemed immovable."

As he spoke my consciousness drifted and sleep overtook me.

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Edwards POV

I had only read one page when she drifted into sleep. At this rate it was going to take years to get through the book. Well, who am I kidding as soon as I changed her we could probably get through the book in a few days. I liked the thought of years though. I was going to miss these moments lying in bed with her and her sleeping. Maybe after the change we would still lie in bed together, _that would be nice_. I mean all the other couples in the house had a bed, and they had to use it for other things, besides the obvious – or maybe they didn't. It's not like I would ask anyone.

She started talking "Jake", well that is a surprise, she normally only said my name. Jealously overtook me. I held her tighter to me.

Her voice was becoming urgent "Jake, don't, please Jake," what was he doing in her dream and where was I?

"Jake please don't hurt him, please Jake, I won't live without him, Jake please for _me" _

Her voice was soft and pleading.

I ached inside.

I ached for her and because of her.

How could she always put me before anything? I would never understand this about her. I, who was constantly trying to put her before everything and never really succeeding (example being Italy, I went there to kill myself, but instead I sentenced Bella to a life as a Vampire) once again life forcing my hand at a decision I didn't want to make.

This was my life. Similar to Bella's. She, -always on the brink of danger --from herself and everything around her, and myself always trying to protect her but somehow managing to pull her _into_ danger, always.

Why couldn't I do something right by her? This always troubled me. Maybe this is why she would not accept my offer at marriage, perhaps she was beginning to realize that I brought the bad things into her life?

I needed a break from my thoughts and Bella was asleep, the talking stage over.

I used this moment to seek out Alice.

She was in her room with Jasper. He was lying on their bed very still and she was on the floor sketching him. How comfortable they looked together.

He sat up as I walked in. "What is this vision you need to tell me about?"

Alice turned her head toward me and she accidentally let her thoughts out before the words _you gave her an ultimatum when you proposed to her – you are such a f ---ing idiot. _Jasper kept his thoughts blocked but spoke the words instead "Alice saw your proposal, and we both have been waiting all these weeks for you to make things right and do this properly, but you haven't so we thought we would have an intervention."

I couldn't believe this. They were incredible, what nerve. "This is really none of your business." Even, I knew the words were not sincere.

Truth was I did want their advice and input on the situation but I was so embarrassed and my pride so stricken by how easily Bella said no to the proposal that I couldn't bring myself to ask for their help.

"Get over yourself Edward" Alice said. She moved to sit beside Jasper and took his hand into hers. "Why would she say yes to an ultimatum? Why would any girl say yes to a proposal with an ultimatum – it is insulting."

Her words confused me "I didn't give her an ultimatum I simple asked her to marry before I changed her"

Jasper now spoke "no, Edward you said you would change her if she married you, that is an ultimatum." The rest of his words stung as he said them, "if she said yes to you then you would live the rest of your existence never knowing if she married you because she wanted to or because you forced her hand and tricked her. Bella is a smart girl, Edward, she would never say yes to a proposal like that, and she would never tell you why she said no. She is a romantic. Actually, if I were in Bella's shoes I would most certainly be insulted by that proposal.

"You also didn't put any thought into it, you proposed without thinking ---like instead of saying "hey let's go to the movies tomorrow" you said "hey let's get married". I don't know Bella as well as you do, but even I see Bella as the type of person who once she makes up her mind on something she sees it through to the end, so she puts quite a good amount of thought into her decisions. Then you come out of almost nowhere after an extremely emotional 72 hour period and say "hey babe, give me what I want and I will give you what you want."

His words hurt, but he was right. What an idiot. I am such a stupid idiot, but I was also relieved because I was beginning to understand how I could fix this and make things right.

Alice was thinking to me now, _Edward, I know it is important to you, for her, to marry you while she is human. We can't understand that, but if it is important to you we want to help you get what you want. _

"When Jasper purposed to me it was the most romantic and one of the most memorable experiences of my life. When he purposed it was so wonderful, the only answer I could give him was 'yes'."

"So that was only _one_ of the most memorable, what was _the most_ memorable?" Jasper starred into her eyes. Alice starred back into his with an expression on her face that said 'now you're the idiot Jasper' and you didn't have to be a mind reader to understand what they were both thinking, actually I concentrated very hard on not listening to their thoughts at that moment.

I inhaled deeply and cleared my throat "umm guys I am still in the room--- you know".

They both reluctantly turned towards me and Jasper added "and I didn't assist her emotionally at all while I was purposing because I was not about to live my whole existence wondering if she said yes because I tricked her or because she wanted me. Although, if she said no, I probably would have manipulated her emotions to say, yes, but still, I would have known." He winked at her when he was finished.

I walked over and hugged Alice and thanked them both. I felt lighter, there was hope that she might still consider marrying me before I changed her.

I walked back into our room as dawn was breaking over the Horizon and the sun was creeping in through my window. Bella stirred and her breathing and heart rate told me she would be waking shortly.

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Bella POV

I awoke and went into the bathroom for a human minute. While I was brushing my teeth, I thought that I should call and check in on Jessica.

I walked into our room and took out my cell phone, I told Edward that I wanted to call Jessica and asked for some privacy. He went downstairs to prepare me some breakfast.

Jessica's phone was ringing and when she answered her voice sounded strange "Bella, I know you mean well, but I just want to forget yesterday ever happened. I want to erase it from my mind, I would very much appreciate it if you never spoke of it again." Click. She hung up the phone on me.

Her words were a reflection of the pain she felt and I was at a loss for knowing how to help her. I know Jessica wasn't a particularly good friend to me during Edward's absence, but still I felt the need to help her further. I decided to send her a text message:

_Jessica, I will respect your wishes, _

_please know if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or want to talk about it, _

_no matter the time of day or night, _

_I will be here for you, to listen and not judge. Love Bella._

Okay, that was the best I could do for now.

The text message indicator on my phone was active, I looked in the inbox and saw I had a message from Jake:

_Bells, it was good seeing you last night,_

_Although the circumstances could have been better._

_You are right, it is a cat calling the kettle_

_Black, situation (wink wink). I was hoping you could return a favor_

_I once did for you? . . . Jake_

The smell of pancakes and bacon filled my nose, and my mouth began to water; I wondered briefly if this was the sensation Edward felt in my presence constantly, what torture.

This train of thought would be best put on hold for now.

I quickly sent a message back to Jake before heading downstairs:

_Jake, I hope I can, what is the favor? – Bells_

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Authors note: no worries "I'm bringing sexy back" next chapter


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

4 Months and counting!

AUGUST 7th ECLIPSE RELEASE DATE!!!! – BUT WHO'S COUNTING ANYWAY????

Thank you Stephenie Meyer

-Thank you for all your kind reviews – fan fic bear hug – please keep reviewing-

I am looking for beta readers for my Twilight fic and my Superman Returns fic, let me know if you are interested

Warning – there is a fairly sexy scene in here, but I don't think it is over the top to change the rating of the story (clothes stay on) – but be warned – it is a little sexier then some of the other scenes in this story

**Chapter 7 – **

_Bella's POV_

A few days after Jake had text me, Edward and I sat watching the sunset outside the house. It was a nice evening. The air was dry (for Forks anyways) and the sun was reflecting nicely off the exposed areas of Edward's skin. He was sitting on the top step of the porch and I was one step below leaning back onto him. His legs were spread to either side of me and I rested my arms along side them. His hand was playing with my hair.

"Part of me is still angry with you for leaving me – but not for the reasons you think" I paused and tilted my head back he was looking down at me, quietly his eyes told me I should continue and his arms tightened their grip around me.

"I am angry because you made an important decision about us without considering my opinion, as if my thoughts or feelings don't matter to you, you never weighed my opinion, it was really quite disrespectful. As much as I don't want to be angry with you anymore, I am, I am mad as hell about it – about the fact that I still feel you don't consider my opinion to be equal to yours."

The anger was free flowing from my mouth, I untangled myself from his embrace and started pacing back and forth on the porch, he sat there still intent on my words, "we are a partnership, the two of us, _you_ and _I_, no matter what happens I am on your side – I am on 'team Edward', and you need to be on 'team Bella' not just 'I am going to save Bella's life, and prevent her from falling, Team Bella', no that is not enough – you need to be on team Bella 'the I support Bella, and her opinions, and respect her decisions, team Bella' and I am not saying that my decisions will always be the right decision or even good decisions, but they are mine and you need to get behind me even when you don't agree."

"… and going forward you can no longer make long-term decisions about us while you are sulking in your head starring at me sleeping, you need to open yourself up to me and share your thoughts and share your fears, you need to talk to me about important things, things that matter "

I inhaled sharply and said the end "and finally, you need to stop trying to give me the world, and start sharing your world me. I am sorry if I can't articulate this last part any clearer, I hope you understand my meaning – I just want to be with you, to enjoy things with you." This last part was very critical that he understand but I didn't think he did, I had to say more.

I said it all. I breathed in deeply, just by putting the words out there I felt lighter.

_Edward's POV_

I never thought she could look sexier then she did five minutes ago, but she is so sexy when she is angry with me. Is she yelling at me? She really is yelling at me! How incredible, I have to kiss her, I can answer her questions later, but now I have to kiss her.

I jumped up and scooped her into my arms, pushing her back against the house. She gasped surprised by my reaction. I put my mouth onto hers and pulled her body tightly against mine. We both moaned. It was passionate. Her hands were clinging onto the back on my shirt pulling me close to her. I leaned in and felt every part of her body against mine. I was determined to restrain myself, to give her what she needed, but we needed to go somewhere slightly more private then the front of the house.

No.

It would be wrong to interrupt the moment; it had to be now, before I lost my nerve.

I put my hands on her shoulders and trailed my fingers down her arms.

She shivered.

She lifted one leg around me "please Edward, don't stop" and I wasn't going to.

I put one hand around her waist and pulled her even closer to me, her hips were moving against me. I am not sure how I did it, how I kept control, holding her close to me, without using excess force, without biting her, while I myself was lusting after something which would be unanswered while she was still human, but I did.

And I held her and kissed her neck, and mouth and shoulders while her hips moved. I felt her hands playing with my shirt and I realized she craved what I craved, skin to skin contact.

How I wanted to feel her warm skin against mine. I growled lustfully in her ear, trying to restrain myself, find composure.

I knew _that_ would put me over the edge and I would loose control. I had to keep her hands busy without breaking her moment. Her breath was harder and her hips were grinding against me. I swiftly took her arms in one hand and pinned her hands behind her back while my free hand firmly placed on her back drawing her closer to me, if that were possible. She moaned, softly, erotically.

My kisses on her neck, urged her to continue.

And when I felt her rigid pose relax and she went limp in my arms, I scooped her up and swiftly carried her to our bedroom.

_Bella POV_

He laid me on the bed, and laid himself down next to me so we were facing each other. He pulled me close to him and kept his arms around me. I felt relieved, light and happy. I think it was the combination of the words I had finally spoken and the passion that ensued. I felt there was so much I wanted to say, but didn't want to speak at the same time. Our eyes were burrowing into one another and that said it all. "I love you Edward."

He buried his head against my heart as he spoke "you are my world".

I must have drifted off to sleep because I woke with the feeling of soft cool kisses against my forehead, "Bella, if you want to eat dinner we should leave now, as it is I think only fast food places will be open."

I was hungry we both heard my stomach growl.

At the same time I felt energized. I got up and we headed down the stairs. Edward was walking in front of me, _this is odd_. What could he be up to? When we arrived at his car, he walked to the passenger side and got in. _Maybe he did understand what I was trying to say earlier. _I cautiously got in the car, behind the drivers side, and adjusted all the settings.

I started the engine, and I felt exhilarated. I am not sure if it was the car or the physical release that finally occurred earlier. Perhaps it was a little of both. I think Edward was feeling it too, he had a smile on face as he was starring at me. I pressed some buttons and all the windows in the car lowered and the sunroof opened. The damp night air filled the car, and the scent of it was warming. Once on the road that would take us into Port Angeles, I increased my speed to 65 mph – fast for me – even Edward smirked at the realization.

It was so easy being in the car next to him, it felt like this was a normal routine for us – although driving into Port Angeles at 9pm was anything but a normal routine for us. I parked the car in front of a pizza joint and a coffee shop.

Edward took my hand as I crossed in front of the parked car to the sidewalk. I stopped. Inwardly deliberating – I was torn between the coffee shop and the pizza place – both would be closing in minutes and I really wanted both. Edward, as if he read my mind solved my puzzlement "I'll get you a slice a pizza and a coke, while you go into the coffee shop and get what you want there."

Twenty minutes later we were sitting on the docks, my pizza and coke finished, gingerly sipping the venti vanilla latte. He began the discussion "What are your big plans for tonight Bella?"

"I don't have any idea what you mean?"

"I am guessing that Latte is full caff – so you must be planning a long evening?"

"Well, now that you mentioned it, being this is a rare night when it is not raining out and all the members of your family are preoccupied with each other, I was thinking that you could take me and my fully caffeinated self to the meadow tonight and we can watch the stars."

"Okay, but you have to answer one question first?" He leaned into me as he spoke and the coolness of his breath stunned me.

And I should have known better, but the breath, those eyes, I always forgot everything when looking at him "Yes" I responded, and when he leaned away, I realized that indeed I was a pushover and mentally cursed myself.

"What do you want more, my bite or my body?"

**Author's Note: I love this last line!!!!!!!!!! Please review**


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